Marriage is about so much more than a physical relationship, it is about respect. I am stubborn (ask anyone – I am working on it). To make relationships work you have to compromise. To successfully compromise, both parties must be happy with the decision. Compromising doesn’t work if you are asked to compromise your moral or ethical standards. It isn’t compromise if you can’t live with the decision.
I often tell people that the XBOX makes our marriage work, because it allows me to pursue my hobbies, and yet stay connected to my husband. I'll often watch TV, read a book, or Craft while watching my husband play video games (yes we have 2 tv's in our bedroom). We are together, having fun, but doing separate activities. We try to play co-op games together once a week, and that is awesome. I know that he will stop playing his XBOX if I need him to, and he knows that I will stop whatever hobby has my attention for the week.
I am an early bird, my husband a night owl. We rarely go to sleep at the same time. We go to bed at the same time, and I enjoy falling asleep listening to him play video games next to me. I enjoyed having the house to myself in the morning. Now that we have Collin, I enjoy spending time with Collin in the morning, though I wish Collin would let me sleep just a little later (what mom doesn’t?).
We have only really argued once in our relationship. Mostly, I get irritated at something he did or said. Note: “I get irritated”. I have chosen to get upset. My husband is a wonderful and kind person who I often yell at because I made a choice to get mad. My husband chooses to not react to my outbursts, and loves me anyway. Because he chooses not to make an issue of it, I usually quickly see where I have wronged him, and apologize. Or at least in theory that’s how it works. Sometimes it takes me a couple of minutes, sometimes a couple of hours, and occasionally a couple of days. Things I do upset him sometimes too, but he deals with it so much better. We occasionally bicker, and one (or both) of us apologize (usually me) within five minutes of the bickering starting.
I am not saying that our relationship is perfect, or that everyone should live like us. I am only stating that compromise works if both are willing to work together to make it work. I know that if my husband and I ever stop compromising, and stop working together, we would not be as happy as we are.
I am not judging anyone. I just wanted to let people know what works for us.
Happy Early Anniversary Aaron. I love you and can't wait to see what our next 5 years bring. Thank you for always forgiving me, and compromising with me. I know I don't always make it easy, and am grateful for you.